Emerald and Onyx
by Yawping Stance
Summary: SiriusLily. Sirius loves Lily, but he's having a hard time trying to tell her and not betraying James's trust. Better than summery, trust me. COMPLETE.
1. Tell Signs

**Disclaimer: If you think that I own Harry Potter, you're seriously dellusional. If _I_ think I own Harry Potter (or if I tell people I do), well then...heehee...I get to go back to the Funny Farm. :) Oh, P.S. I don't own that line from "Romeo and Juliet," nor do I own the bit from Pretty in Pink at the end, if you can spot either of them. **

A/N: Yet another Ship List fic. If you don't know what ship list is, please see the author's note of my other SL fic, The Only One He Ever Loved.

Sirius dragged his feet down the hall. James was going to ask Lily out again today. What if she said yes this time? What then? James had asked 73 1/2 times in the past 6 years. What if 74th (1/2) time was a charm? _Then_ where would he be? But Sirius could never tell James this, that would be betrayal. Tease, yes. Blackmail, maybe. But never betrayal. That's something weasles and rats do, like Snivellus and his crowd. Besides, dogs are often described as loyal, right?

_But I'm not his pet, I'm his friend,_ Sirius thought. _And Sirius Q. Black is NOT house-broken._ He thought about this statement and how it would relate to his dog self. _Wait a minute..._ Just then, James came plodding up to him.

"How'd it go, mate? 74th 1/2 time the charm?"

"What's wrong with me, Padfoot?" James slid down the wall and Sirius knelt next to him. "What do all those other blokes got that I don't?" He shrugged.

"Dunno." _Maybe a deflated ego and a more than microscopic grade point average!_

"I mean, what does it take to impress this girl!"

"Have you tried _not_ trying to impress her?" James laughed.

"Now that's just crazy, Padfoot!" He shrugged again.

"I dunno, Prongs. Seems to work fine for the other guys."

"But what happened to them? All dead ends."

"How 'bout you impress her by _not _trying to impress her?"

"Beg pardon?"

"You know, be so down-to-Earth and blended-in that she'll notice you're not trying to impress her." What was he doing! _We've gone into a death spiral! Pull up! Pull up!_

"That's a great idea! _Not!_ If I blend in, I'll just..._blend in_! And James Potter does _not_ blend in!"

"Kay, Prongs." Somewhere between "not" and "if," Sirius had slipped into his own world of fantasies. A world with nothing but Lily and him. No James, no other guys, just they two. Alone forever. Forever sounded so appealing right now. Usually the thought of eternity frightened Sirius, but when it was eternity with Lily, it wasn't so bad. Even if it was the center of Hell, if it was with Lily, it might as well be a balmy summer's day.

"Padfoot? _Sirius Black!_" James yelled into his ear. Sirius snapped out of his daydreams with a jerk.

"Huh? What?"

"Daydreaming about Juliana again?" James smiled wryly. Sirius nodded vaguely.

"Juliana, yeah. Right." Was he _daft_? He hadn't liked Juliana since their second year, when she spread rumors that he and James were gay.

"It's just...I don't know, Padfoot. I don't know what it is about her. I just..."

"Want to hold her and never let go? You want to see her everyday, just to know that she wasn't just some pleasant dream. There's this feeling of such hopelessness whenever you look into her eyes. Like you're falling and there's nobody there at the bottom to catch you...except her. And you just want to feel her in your arms, just once, just to know that she knows you exist. For nothing can be ill if your lady is well." This was all true for Sirius. James looked at him oddly. "Well, I've heard you say it enough." This was not. He'd never heard James ay any of it, except the bit about holding her in his arms, but James could barely remember what he had for breakfast. For all he knew, he'd said it a million times.

"Right." James nodded, but didn't look as though he quite believed Sirius. "Padfoot, are you all right?"

"Yeah, Prongs. Never better. Why?"

"It wasn't Juliana, was it?" Sirius quickly checked his watch.

"Hey, Prongs, I gotta get to Potions. I'll see you later." He quickly turned and walked off, before James could see him turning red.

On his way down the corridor, he bumped quite hard into someone. He quickly got up and started helping her pick up her things. He recognized the name on one of the essays that had fallen out of her bag and his heart gave a little jump as he picked it up.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention," he mumbled without looking up.

"Oh, it's entirely my fau-" she looked at him. "Oh." He looked at Lily, offended.

"What'd you mean, 'oh'?"

"It's _you_."

"Well, I'm terribly sorry for that, seeing as I can't ruddy well be anybody else, can I?" he snapped. "Who were you expecting, the Queen?"

"Well, there are _other_ people I'd rather have hurtle into me," she shot back.

"_I_ hurtled into _you_? Whatever happened to 'it's entirely my fault,' eh?"

"Yes, it _was_ entirely your fault. Whatever _did_ happen to that?"

"I was quoting _you_, Evans! And watch where your going next time, will you?" He pushed past her.

_What was that about? Well, she ran into me. You called her Evans, you ponce! Well, what else would she expect? If you want her to like you, start by calling her by her first name. Well, I don't want her to like me, do I? I dunno, do you?_ Sirius stopped short and thought about this. Did he? _No,_ he decided. _That would definitely fall under the category of betrayal. And I'd die before I betrayed James. But..._ There was still that little nagging voice in the back of his head. _But she's beutiful, smart, funny, everything I want. And everything you're not. Besides, after the way you've been treating her the past six years, it's amazing she still puts up with you. But that's exactly it, isn't it? She still puts up with me. And I want her to keep putting up with me. So...what exactly are you planning on doing? I'll go back and apologize. _Without thinking, he turned around. All he saw was a flick of red hair dissappear around the corner, and then she was gone.

"Stupid," he said aloud. Apparently, this was loud enough for Lily to hear. She poked her head back around the corner.

"I _beg_ your pardon?" He looked up quickly.

"Not you, Lily." She nodded in a satisfied sort of way, and started back the way she came. She then realized something and turned around again.

"You just called me Lily." Sirius realized what he said and, if she hadn't been standing right there, would've palmed his forehead.

"Well, that _is_ your name, isn't it?" _Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!_

"Well, yeah. But...but you never call me Lily. It's always Evans, or something."

"So can't I call you Lily if I want? Isn't that what you _want_ people to call you?"

"Yeah, but since when did you do what I wanted?" He shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged.

"I wasn't doing what you wanted. I just felt like calling you Lily. Nice change of pace, if you know what I mean."

"You're a horrible liar, Sirius Black." His heart nearly stopped. He worked hard not to let any emotion show. This was the first person ever to catch him in a dead lie. Not even James had managed it.

"What makes you say that?"

"Your eyebrows raise slightly when your lying. They always have." He tried not to stare at her.

"And why would you waste your time trying to figure out a person's tell signs like that?"

"So you admit it. You _were_ lying."

"I never said that. And you're avoiding the question! Why do you waste your valuble prefect time trying to figure out such miniscule things as tell signs?"

"Well, I've got to catch you and your friends at it somehow, don't I?" She bit the inside of her bottom lip. Sirius smiled slightly.

"You're not the only one who can see tell signs, you know." He turned around and began walking. "You might want to get to class." The bell rang as he pointed up to the clock. "Wouldn't want a black mark on your record, now, would we?

* * *

Ta da! Yes, Hannah, this is all I've got. NOTE: This is _not _a one-shot. Just the first chapter, cuz there's a bit of blockage on highway one in my brain. A 16-wheeler has tipped over, spilling mapel syrup all over the highway and causing the people who commute to the "plot" centre of the "fanfiction" centre of the "writing" centre of my brain to get stuck in a very large, gooey mess. I'll try to update as soon as I can. If you've never read anything by me before, be warned, I have notoriously long author's notes. Please R&R. 


	2. Apologies and Arguments

**Disclaimer: My initials happen to be B.T. Unknown Villian (Bob the), not J.K. Rowling. Do you know what this means? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Except that I don't own Harry Potter. "Hast thou come to throw salt in my wounds?"**

A/N: Sooo, umm, yeah. Maybe my lazy lazy muse will clean up that big syrup mess for this chapter, who knows?

Lily turned bright red as she walked down the hall towards Charms class. Did she really have tell signs? Or was he just trying to throw her off, like the little prat he is?

_Yes, that's it! He's just trying to throw me off. I don't have tell signs. And what would I have tell signs for, anyway? I've got nothing to hide._ She decided not to answer her own question, just in case it came to something that she didn't think she could come to terms with. And she knew it would. She pushed open the door to the Charms classroom.

"Miss Evans, you're late," Professor Flitwick said, slightly annoyed.

"Sorry, Professor. I got held up."

* * *

Remus glanced nervously at the clock. Sirius was usually late, but it wasn't like him to be _this _late. He tapped his fingers nervously on the desk. The door opened and Sirius came flying through. 

"Sorry I'm late, Professor!" Remus stared at him.

"Well, Mr. Black, it's about time you--did you apologize for being late?" Professor Slughorn looked as if he could've been knocked over with a feather. And, quite honestly, Remus could've been, too. Sirius _never_ apologized for being late.

"Yes," Sirius said slowly. They were all staring at him like it was a bad thing that he'd apologized. Professor Slughorn blinked at him a few times, then motioned to his usual seat beside Remus.

"H-have a seat, Mr. Black." Sirius sat down beside Remus.

"What was that all about?" Remus asked him when they'd set up and began their assignment.

"What was what all about?" Sirius asked casually as he dumped two ounces too much newt spleen into his cauldron.

"Walking in ten minutes later than usual. _Apologizing_ for being late..."

"You say it like it's a _bad_ thing, Moony. Apologizing, I mean."

"Well, no, but it's just that...you _never_ apologize for being late. To _any_ class, leastwise Potions."

"I was just...distracted was all. I ran into somebody in the hallway, and that's why I was late."

"Distracted by what?" Sirius shrugged.

"I forget." His eyebrows involutairily rose slightly. Remus just shook his head and went back to work.

_Distracted by what?_ He wondered. _Nothing distracts him so much that he apologizes to a teacher. Unless it's a girl..._ The lightbulb went on over Remus's head. He glanced over at Sirius, as if he expected that he was reading his mind or something. _That's it, Moony, you idiot! It's a girl. I wonder who, though? Definitely not Juliana. Prongs is dense to think that it's her, I just don't have the heart to tell him. But why wouldn't he tell us if he's that preoccupied with a girl? It's not like he's got something to hide. It's not like he's interested in the same girl James is, or I am._ A thought came to him, and his eyes narrowed to slits. He surpressed a growl. _If he so much as even thinks about touching Sarah... Wait, what am I saying? Remus Lupin, you are a complete idiot! Why would he like Sarah...or even Lily, for that matter? He can't stand either of them._

He started going through a list of girls near their age in his head, but none of them seemed the type that would drive Sirius to distraction like that. He eventually narrowed it down to three, but Lily, as he'd convinced himself, wasn't an option. Sirius couldn't stand her. He never talked to her, and if he did, it was a string of nasty comments and insults. He usually started walking the other direction when he saw her coming, and he never liked to talk about her. When they did, he always seemed to turn a little pink (with anger?) and...wait...

_Bugger!

* * *

_

"It's _nothing_, Moony!"

"Come on, out with it!" Remus was going to get this out of him if it took him all day.

"Out with what? There's nothing to be out with!" Sirius was striding briskly down the hall, trying to get away. Remus stepped in front of him, cutting him off.

"It's a girl, isn't it? Who is it?" He felt he already knew, but he had to hear it from Sirius himself.

"No, it's not, and it's nobody! I was just distracted because I was later than usual, okay? Just drop it, Moony." Remus sighed and decided that drastic times call for drastic measures.

"It's Lily, isn't it?" Sirius paused in shock for a moment, then kept walking. "Sirius!" Sirius stopped and spun around.

"_What?_"

"It's Lily, isn't it?" Sirius turned and kept walking. "Answer me, Sirius."

"Fine! No, it's not! It's not a girl, it's not Evans, I was just distracted!"

"What by?"

"_That's_ none of your business!" Sirius stormed off in the direction of the common room. Remus sighed and turned towards the library.

He slumped down in a chair and pulled out one of his books. He spread out a bit of parchment on the table, quill poised over it. He must've read the same passage at least three times before he gave up. His mind was too busy mulling over his friend's odd behavior. He put his forehead on his palms.

"Mind if I sit here, Remus?" a girl's voice asked.

"Go ahead." She sat and got out her parchment and books, as well. Remus looked up at Lily.

"James ask you out again?" he asked casually.

"Mmm-hmm," she replied lightly.

"You said no again?"

"Mmm-hmm."

This was usually how their conversations in the library started out. Remus was the only Marauder who was on speaking terms with her who didn't, every time he spoke to her, ask her out. They were actually quite friendly to each other.

"I heard you and Sirius Black having a row," Lily remarked casually. This made Remus awkward and slightly embarassed.

"How much did you hear?" Lily looked up and quoted directly.

"'Answer me, Sirius.' 'Fine! No, it's not! It's not a girl, it's not Evan, I was just distracted!' 'What by?' '_That's_ none of your business!'" Remus almost laughed in relief that she hadn't caught the s at the end of Evans. If it wasn't about her, he didn't want her to get involved. Then he thought about the context of what she'd heard.

"Erm...that's not what it sounded like," he said awkwardly. Lily just smiled wryly and raised an eyebrow.

"What? It's not!"

"I just want to know who Evan is," she said playfully.

"There _is_ no Evan! Neither of us know anybody named Evan."

"Then it looks to me as if you've got nothing to worry about, Remus." Lily giggled.

"Lily!" She stopped giggling.

"I'm just joking, Remus. Everybody knows you fancy Sarah. Well...except for Sarah, but that's besides the point."

"I'm just...having a stressful day, Lily. I'm not really in a joking mood." He tried the passage in his book for a fourth time.

"Oh, that's right." Lily lowered her voice. "Full moon tonight, isn't it?" Lily had known since last year about Remus being a werewolf. He nodded vaguely.

"Yeah. Moon," he said distractedly. It then registered what she'd said. He blinked and looked up. "What time does the sun set tonight?"

"8 o'clock." He looked at his watch. It was half-past seven. He packed up his books.

"I've got to get going. See you later, Lily."

"Bye," she called after him as he rushed out of the library.

Remus made his way quickly up the steps to the Gryffindor common room. James and Peter were at a table doing...who knows what (Heaven forbid it was homework!), and Sirius was sulking nearby, with his arms folded across his chest. They looked up at him as he threw his bag down.

"C'mon. We've only got half an hour!" he said urgently.

"Full moon already?" James said lightly.

"Come _on!_" James and Peter stood up.

"Come on, Padfoot," James said, turning to leave.

"I'm not going." James turned around.

"What?"

"I'm not going." Remus knew why.

"Padfoot, don't be like that," he said, looking desperately at his watch.

"I'll be like that if I want, _Remus_," he said coldly. Remus glanced at his watch again. Quarter till.

"Fine. Whatever. We'll talk about this later." Remus turned and ran out of the common room, causing people to stare. James gave an odd look at Sirius, nodded to Peter, who was awaiting an order, and followed after Remus.

"Do you want to talk about it, Sirius?" Peter asked timidly, sitting back down. Sirius, not wanting to be bothered by the hero-worshiping, rat-faced boy, just rolled his eyes.

"Go, Wormtail," he said in a bored voice.

"But James said--"

"I don't _care_ what he said, just go!" Peter, never being one to disobey his friends, got up and followed after James and Remus.

"That wasn't very nice," Lily said, coming over and sitting down next to him. His heart gave a little jump.

"I don't care."

"He looks up to you, you know."

"I don't care."

"Is there anything you _do_ care about?"

"He's shorter than me, so he can't really help it, you know."

"Did you even hear what I said?"

"What?"

"I asked you if there's anything you _do_ care about."

"Of course there are things I care about."

"Name five. And prank items don't count. That's material posession. I mean living beings."

"Well...I care about James and Remus, in a friend-type capacity," he added hastily at the look on Lily's face. "Get your mind out of the gutter! And...I care about...erm..." How to say this... "Certain other..._personages_ that I'd rather not mention."

"Juliana?"

"_Why does everybody think that?_ She spread rumours that I was _gay_! Why would I like someone who said that about me?" Lily shrugged.

"I can't think of anybody else you'd like."

"Well, you'd be surprised. You really would."

"Then surprise me." Sirius looked up at her. This was his chance, should he take it?

Reviewers! Huzzah!

**waterdreamer: Thank you. Thanks for being my first reviewer, I appreciate it.**

**HannahCimsGwendolyn: The part from Pretty in Pink was when Sirius pointed up at the clock as the bell rang and told her she should get to class. Like I said, it's pretty obscure. Steff did it to Blane at one point in the movie. (Duckie: _Blane?_ His name is _Blane_? That's not a name! That's a major appliance!) Hee hee, I like Duckie. :) The Q. thing was just a question asking you to be candid. It didn't have any seriously damaging effects. Walter Kronkite, however...well, that's just _wrong_:shudders, twitches:**

Oooh! Cliffie! Please review. I beg you, please:pouts:


	3. Talk to Her

**Disclaimer: Don't own, blah, blah, blah...don't claim to...blah, blah, blah, the psycho hippie hicks smell like feet, blah, blah, blah. (you:do a double take: "psycho hippie hicks?") Just trying to keep you on your toes. :)**

**Disclaimer disclaimer: I don't own the psycho hippie hicks, HannahCimsGwendolyn does. Although, our 8th grade history teacher was one until a cow fell on her head...**

A/N:sigh: I know, I know, it's been a while. But my school work has been immense, so I'm really sorry. I just haven't had time. The roads are still a bit gooey, but we're getting there.

"You probably don't know her. She's a muggle. Lives in Manchester."

"_I_ live in Manchester. Who is it? We might've gone to school together."

"I don't think so. See, she only lives in Manchester on the weekends. During the week she's in Devonshire, with her mum." Lily nodded her head.

"Alright, then, if I can't get you to tell me her name, then tell me this. I thought people in your family weren't allowed to fancy muggles. I mean, yours _is_ one of those narrow-minded pure-blood families, isn't it?" Sirius bristled defensively.

"In case you haven't noticed, Evans, I'm not like the rest of my family. I mean, I _am_ in Gryffindor, aren't I?"

"That doesn't mean you don't hate muggles and muggle-borns."

"Well, if I _did_ hate muggles and muggle-borns, I wouldn't be talking to you right now, would I? Especially after that blatent jab at my family." Lily shrugged.

"Good point. So, come on. I know you were lying to me about her being a muggle and living in Devonshire and all that rot. Who is she?"

"Why is it girls are so intent on finding out who other people fancy?"

"Stop avoiding the question!"

"I can avoid it if ruddy well I want to!"

"Not forever." Sirius looked at her. There was that word again. Forever. Until the end of all time, and always an unknown quantity. Like her. He shook his head.

"No. That's a personal question and I'd like to keep it personal, thanks. How did we get on this topic, anyway?"

"I asked you if there was anything you cared about and you said 'certain personages.' So really, you can't blame me when _your_ the one who brought it up." Sirius stood up.

"You know what? Think I'll join them after all."

He briskly strode through the portrait hole and down the hall. He'd had no plans of going to the Shrieking Shack, but after deciding that he had nowhere better to go, he started heading downstairs towards the front door. He breathed more freely once he felt the cool autumn night air hit his face. He took a deep breath and let out a sigh of temporary content. He glanced reproachfully at the Whomping Willow. He didn't want to be trapped inside again. Not just yet. Especially with a fully-grown werewolf. Instead, he walked around the outside wall of the castle, his head buzzing with thoughts. Growing frustrated with these thoughts, he slammed his back against the wall and slid down, gripping his hair at the scalp.

"I love Lily Evans," he said out loud. "I love Lily Evans. That's not so hard to say...So why can't I say it? I love Lily Evans. _I love Lily Evans!_"

He tried imagining her standing in front of him and saying it, but he couldn't do it. He muttered it to himself over and over, but he could never bring himself to say it when he pictured her standing there. Her glittering emerald eyes staring into his own. _I love Lily Evans, I love Lily Evans..._ He closed his eyes and kept repeating it over and over in his head. _I love Lily Evans. I love her, I love her, I'll always love her. Until the end of forever...

* * *

_

Sirius found himself being shaken awake. He didn't bother opening his eyes, but just rolled over in the dirt. The person shook him harder.

"Padfoot! _Padfoot!_"

"Hmm?" Sirius jerked awake. It took his eyes a few seconds to focus on Remus, James, and Peter all standing above him. Remus looked tired and rather worn. Although he was only 16, Sirius could already see little whisps of grey appearing near his temples.

"Padfoot, why did you sleep on the ground?" Remus asked. "I'm pretty sure your bed would let you sleep in it, if you asked it nicely." Sirius sat up and stretched.

"I fell asleep?" He looked around and, surely enough, the sky was starting to go a dirty sort of grey color shot with veins of pink. He blinked at all of them. "I'd changed my mind. Decided to go with you guys. But then I got caught up in thinking."

"Hope you didn't hurt yourself," James teased. Remus, however, merely cocked his head to one side.

"Thinking about what?" Sirius just shook his head.

"Just...stuff." He stood up clumsily, still rather disorented, and looked around at all of them. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go get some food." The others nodded in agreement and followed him as he lead the way up to the castle.

"Padfoot, can I talk to you?" Remus said quietly in his ear. "You two go ahead, we'll catch up." James and Peter were only too happy to oblige, their hunger greater than their curiosity at the moment.

"What?" Sirius had an idea of what was coming. And, sure enough...

"What were you thinking about?"

"I told you, Moony. Just stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"_Stuff_ stuff! Why are you so concerned with what I'm thinking about, anyway? Who are you, my mum? You're just as bad as Evans!"

"You mean, you had another civil conversation with her?"

"Not too proud of it, but yeah. She...wait. What do you mean, _another_ civil conversation? I don't remember telling you that I had a civil conversation with her."

"I figured that was just about the only thing that could send you into shock so much that you'd apologize to a teacher. So, have you told her how you feel yet?"

"She knows how I feel."

"How you really feel, not what you want her to think you feel."

"You're a _guy_, Moony! We're not _supposed_ to talk about feelings!"

"Alright then, your misery." He started to walk away. Remus smiled to himself. Sirius Black wouldn't recognize reverse-psychology if it beat him over the head with a dead fish whilst throwing rubber chickens at him and calling him very mean names.

"Well, I don't want to be miserable..." he heard Sirius mutter to himself. "Moony, wait!" Sirius ran to catch up with him.

"Yes?"

"Are you sure it's a good idea? I mean, do you think I have a chance?" Remus shrugged.

"As good as any." Sirius knew that by "any," he meant James.

"I dunno about this..."

"You've taken risks before, what's so different about this one?"

"Well, if I fail, I'll humiliate myself."

"You humiliated yourself last year at the Christmas party when you--"

"You _swore_ to me you'd never mention that again!" Remus just smiled.

"My point _is_, just do it."

"But what if, on the off-chance, she says yes? What about when James finds out that _you're_ the one that encouraged me?" Remus just smiled mysteriously. Sirius grinned and nodded, understanding. "Three rules of life: cheat, lie, and deny, eh?" He just smiled again. "So, you think I should ask her out?"

"Ask who out?" a trace of the Cheshire Cat grin still played in the corners of Remus's lips as he walked ahead of Sirius into the Great Hall.

"Moony, wait!" Remus turned around. "Talk to her for me."

"I--what?"

"Talk to her for me. You're good with all those flowery words and that Shakes-beard stuff." Remus sighed.

"Shakes_peare_. And no, talk to her yourself."

"Well, I at least want to know if she feels the same before I humiliate myself."

"Where's the adventure in that?"

"Moony, _please!_ Don't make me beg, you know I will!" Sirius started to go to his knees.

"Alright, alright! Get up! I'll talk to her. But you're asking her out on your own."

"Fine! Thanks, Moony. I owe you."

"I know." Remus walked away.

"And modest to a fault," Sirius said audible enough for Remus to her. Remus merely grinned his Cheshire Cat grin again as he walked into the hall.

* * *

Yay for reviewers!

HannahCimsGwendolyn: You have to pay absolutely nothing! It's right here, absolutely free. Unless, of course, you _want_ to pay me. I'd be fine with that, too. I use cliffie because it's shorter than writing out cliff-hanger. That's a longer word than chapter or episode, and chappie and eppie make me twitch. So there. :p

waterdreamer: Thank you very much. It makes me warm and fuzzy that I have repeat reviewers.

Carina Noir: You're welcome. Just UPDATE SOON! lol. Your fic is really funny. Thanks for your review. Your...erm..._enthusiasm_ is appreciated. Really, it is.

PatronSaintOfEverythingWierd: Huzzah! Thank you for reviewing. I like this pairing, too, but I could never get it when I played Ship List with Hannah. The little _terd_ drew it, and so I traded Lily/Sirius for Neville/Luna, and I was very happy. Sirius is my absolute _favorite_ character, and I cried at the end of the 5th book. I think I have a certain affinity to him because of the parallels I draw between him and real life (if you check out my profile, you'll see why). Anyway, back from that tangent...I'm glad you think it's good. Please review again. Pretty please?

Tada! Unstuck, huzzah! Chapter 4 is already in the works. Now, if I can just get the workload to slow down a bit so I can actually spend a bit of time writing, that would be nice. So, if I'm slow to update, that's why. Please R&R.


	4. Friend is Fiend with an R

**Disclaimer: Don't own...whatever. No odd disclaimer today.**

"Hey, Lily."

"Morning, Remus. I didn't really expect to see you this morning."

"It wasn't as bad last night. I probably won't be out and about tommorrow or Monday."

He stabbed savagely at a piece of bacon. A silence fell between them and in that silence, Remus decided that he would be blunt.

"Sirius Black. Discuss."

"Pompous, arrogant, show-offish git!" she said without skipping a beat. "Can't stand him." She subconciously chewed on the inside of her lip.

"Lily, don't lie. It's not becoming."

"I'm not lying!"

"Yes, you are. You always bite your lip when you're lying. Come on, it was just a question. No need to lie."

"Well, I like him better than I like Potter."

"_Mmm-hmm_."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," he said mildly, taking a sip of his coffee.

* * *

"So, what'd she say?" 

"That she could tolerate you more than James."

"Yes!" Sirius punched the air.

"Easy, mate. It just means you're less annoying than James, that's all."

"Moony, think about what you just said." Remus thought.

"Good point. But just don't go off half-cocked is all I'm saying. Think it through." Sirius took him by the shoulders.

"Moony, don't bother me with trifles. I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life. If you were a girl, I'd kiss you." And Sirius ran in the direction as if he _would_ kiss Remus.

"Lily! Hey! Hey, Lily!" Sirius ran down the hall, calling after her. She turned.

"You said it again," was the first thing she said, once he'd caught up with her.

"Most people usually start with 'hello.'"

"But you said my name gain."

"Does that bother you? 'Cause I can go back to calling you Evans, if you'd prefer..."

"No!" she said, a little too quickly. "I mean, no. Lily's fine. So, what'd you want?"

"Well, I...erm..." Sirius had stopped feeling like he'd swallowed a whole both of Felix Felicis, and the feeling that replaced it was one that was completely alien to him. He was nervous about asking a girl out.

"Yes?" she said expectantly.

"I...erm...I was just wondering if you...if you..." he cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "If you wanted to go to Hogsmede with me this afternoon?" He said this very quickly, then immediately looked down to hide his blushing.

"Oh. I...um..." Sirius had, for the first time, caught her off-guard. He shook his head, still not looking up.

"Never mind," he muttered. "Stupid, really. Forget it." He turned to walk away.

"Sirius." He stopped. He'd waited forever to hear that . He turned around.

"Y-yeah?"

"O-of course I'll go with you." He looked up at her for the first time. She was tinged a little pink.

"Really?" She nodded.

"Yeah. Really." He smiled, mostly with relief.

"Coo, so...I'll see you about 1?"

"I'll be there." Before he left, she gave him a small peck on the cheek.

The next day, Sirius was all but walking on air. Literally. Remus, James, and even Peter had noticed.

"What's got _you_ so happy?" James asked.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing, Prongs. Just happy is all."

"Sirius!" Lily ran down the hall toward him. "I just wanted to know, I had a really good time yesterday." James watched, horrified, as Lily leaned in and kissed Sirius. And, even more to his horror, Sirius kissed her back. She turned and walked back down the hallway. James stood there, looking rather dazed. It was then that Sirius realized what he'd done.

"James...James, I-"

"Ow," he muttered, still looking dazed. He laughed a little. "Ow." He walked off down the hallway without another word.

"James!" Sirius started after him, but Remus caught his shoulder.

"Let 'im go, Sirius. He'll need some time."

* * *

Later that evening, Remus found James in, of all places, the library. He was sitting there, head bent, scribbling something on parchment and occasionally looking at his book. Remus sat down across from him. 

"Figure none of us would bother looking for you here?" James shook his head without looking up.

"Just thought that homework would take my mind off of things."

"James, I-"

"Why do they call it homework, when we never really leave school?"

"I dunno."

"And why do they call them mates if they just betray you? I think whoever invented the English language was betrayed by one of his mates."

"Why do you say that?"

"Friend is 'fiend' with an r."

"Well, if you put the r at the end, it's 'fiendr.'" (_a/n: that's pronounced "feend-er")_

"What's a fiendr?"

"Half-way between a friend and a fiend. Like a friend who had the best of intentions, but didn't think about the consequences." James sat up straiter, looking hard at Remus.

"Example...?" Remus took a deep breath.

"If I had, hypothetically speaking, been the one to encourage Sirius to ask Lily out." He closed his eyes tight and prepared for the blow, but the blow never came. He opened his eyes and James was staring at him.

"You? It was...you?" James looked as though he was struggling to comprehend this. "You told him to do it?..._You? Remus J. Lupin?_"

"I'm afraid so." James stared past Remus a bit longer, a sort of half-smile on his face. He giggled absently.

"Funny times we live in, aren't they, Moony?"

"James, what-?"

"A time when you can't even trust your closest friend and it seems like they're all just standing around, waiting to _stab you in the back._"

"James, I'm sorry."

"That's what Sirius tried to say. Et tu, Remus?" When James looked at him, Remus was rather disturbed. There was no one behind his eyes. Absolutely nobody home. It was like he'd finally snapped, like this was the straw that had broken the camel's back. It was quite unnerving.

"James, are you alright?" James blinked and shook his head a little. He was back.

"Yeah, Remus, I'm fine. I've just got a bit of thinking to do is all." He packed up his things and stood up. "See you later." He left without a word. Remus followed after him, worried.

To my loverly reviewers:

HannahCimsGwendolyn: What was the grumble for when you said "very funny"? Did you not _want_ my chapter to be funny? Cuz this is sort of a melo-drama, so I though a little comic relief might be good. Are you saying I shouldn't _write_ funny things? Well, in that case, consider our little joint-authorship thingy over:sniff: j/k! I still wanna write GH with you! No, the toes mentioned in the disclaimer were, sadly, not the ones used in the American Revolution...unless any of the readers are that old, but I don't think they are. Huzzah, Hippie Hicks! And I am _not_ hormonally challenged, the other two are! Legolas finds me very attractive on his own, thank you! I blame Mouse for all of it, including the cranberry sauce (which The Sexy, or any elf, is not allergic to!). "And now what Peter's been doing..."

PatronSaintOfEverythingWierd: Huzzah! Please really _is_ the magic word! (:flashes back to Barney's Manners:twitches:) Never mind. But I ask you to please review again! I'm updating as fast as I can. I'm sorry about the chapter length. My creativity tends to come and go. :kicks muse: Thanks for reviewing my one-shot! I heart you!...If I ever say that to you again, you have full permission to beat me about the head and shoulders with a frying pan.

Woah.is.that.real: Thanks very much. Here's your update. I'm not sure how long it'll be until I can update again, though, so please be patient.

A/N: Okay, did anybody else's hits on their stats get erased yesterday, or is it just me? And last night it was showing three hits on one of my fics, now I don't have any. I'm sooo confuseded! Help!


	5. Do What You Want

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot. You steal my plot, I flame and report it as abuse! So, you no steal muh plot without my consent! Capeshe? Anyways, I don't own the characters or anything like that. Except an OC briefly mentioned in chapter 2, but we probably won't see her.**

A/N: I know, it's been a while, but I was busy with my joint fic, General Hogwarts, with HannahCimsGwendolyn. So, here it is...Oh, for those of you who actually _read_ the author's notes, it might be helpful to know that this will most likely have a sequel, although that sequel will probably end up being a one-shot. Also, I've finally got a word processing program with spell check! Huzzah! So, if you've noticed my atrocious spelling, help is on the way! Anyways, on with the story...

Sirius sat in a chair by the fire with Lily. He absentmindedly ran her fingers through his. She looked up at him.

"What's wrong, Sirius?" she asked.

"Hmm? Oh, nothing."

"Don't worry about Potter. He'll get over it in a couple days."

"You've really got to quit doing that mind-reading thing." She laughed lightly.

"I can't read minds, you're just that predictable. Don't worry about it." He nodded vaguely.

"Right." But he had every intension of not listening to her and try to talk with James, once he'd cooled off a bit. "I think I'll turn in early tonight."

"Okay." Lily slid off his lap to let him up. He began toward the boys' dorm.

"G'night, Lily."

"Good night."

Sirius then felt a hand on his shoulder turn him around. Then came a very sharp pain and a warm trickling sensation on his upper lip. He yelled in surprise and staggered backwards a few steps, a hand gingerly on his nose.

"James!" he yelped. "What the-!"

"Ow," James said, shaking out his hand. "That hurt." The entire common room was staring by now.

"Oh, my condolences! I'm so sorry my nose got in the way of your fist!" His nose was bleeding freely now. Lily, who'd stood up, mended Sirius's nose, then turned and slapped James.

"Ow! What was that for!"

"Solve your problems with words, not violence!"

"But you just slapped me!"

"Exactly. It didn't get us any where, did it?" James merely blinked at her.

"any idea what that meant?" he asked a bewildered-looking Sirius, who shrugged.

"Not a bloody clue," he said thickly through the left-over blood still trickling slowly from his nose.

"I'll let you two work this out." Lily turned on her heal and stalked up to the girls' dorm.

Remus had entered, unnoticed, clutching a stitch in his chest. Breathing a sigh of relief that they were both still alive, Remus checked his watch. He had twenty minutes.

_Bugger! Well, neither of them are stupid enough to try anything._ He turned and left again. He had a very strong feeling that he'd be passing his second night alone.

"Can't say I didn't deserve it," Sirius muttered, still rubbing his nose gently.

"No, you really can't. And now, I find out that _Moony_'s involved-"

"Don't blame him. It's my fault. I asked him for help."

"Oh, stop trying to act the misunderstood hero, Sirius!" James yelled.

"I'm _not_ trying to act the hero! I'm trying to direct the blame where blame should be put!" Sirius bellowed back.

"Well, in either case, that's not the point! The point _is_ that you asked Lily out!"

"So did you!"

"Yeah, well...You're not supposed to ask out the girl your best mate's been asking out for the past _six years_!"

"Yeah, past six years! 741/2 times, James, and she _still _said no! It took me _once_, James! Just once, and she said yes!"

"So? What's your point?"

"_She can't stand you,_ James! She never has been able to! She most likely never will!"

"Yeah? Well, what do you think she started going out with you for, huh? I mean, Friday, she couldn't stand you!"

"If she started going out with me for any other reason than, Heaven forbid, she actually had _feelings_ for me, it was probably to get you to quit bugging her! Quite honestly, I wouldn't blame her for it, either! You hit border-line harassment 4 attempts back!" Sirius had waited so long to say this to James, and now that he'd started, he couldn't stop.

"So...The truth finally comes out. The man I thought was my best mate steals the love of my life, then adds insult to injury."

"Oh, spare me the melodrama, James! I think you're just upset because, for once, I've got something you don't and never had a chance of having! The one thing the 'Great' James Potter can't have!" Having run out of things to say, Sirius turned and started heading up to the dorm. "Good night, James."

"You're not the only one who loves her, James said quietly. Sirius didn't seem to hear. The common room was as silent as if someone had just died. "What're you all staring at?" he snapped as he went for the portrait hole. They still merely gawked. He ignored them.

Outside the portrait, James donned the Invisibility cloak and ran carefully and quietly down the hallways. About half-way down his second flight of steps, he slid to the ground. From all that had happened that day, he couldn't take it anymore. He did something he hadn't let himself do something he hadn't allowed himself in years. He let tears slide freely from his eyes and down his cheeks.

He sat and cried like that for a bit. He cried for Lily, he cried for Sirius and for Remus. He cried because his entire world was crashing down around his ears and there was nothing he could do about it. He was utterly helpless and hopelessly lost in a room made of chaos. Only those who were near and dear to him could show him the way out of this room he'd built himself. But now, none of them were either dear _or_ near.

"James?" Peter wandered blindly down the stairs. "James, where are you? Take off the cloak." James wiped his face free of tears, his cheeks burning with the shame of them, but he neither spoke, nor took off the cloak. "James, please say something."

Peter stumbled down a few more steps, calling James's name. James had to pull his feet in to avoid being discovered...not to mention tripping Peter. He didn't want to talk

to anybody, no amount of talking would ever make this better. Finally, Peter gave up on trying to get James to reveal himself willingly and sat down about ten steps below James. He sighed.

"Okay, James, have it your way. But I know that you can hear me. This place echoes. Anyway, I don't think you should've hit Padfoot. It wasn't right. I mean, you can't help who you love any more than you can help who you're related to. I mean, look at Sirius and Regulus."

"You know, sometimes I think that you and Sirius, and even Remus, think that I'm the thick one and that I'm always oblivious. Well, that's made it to where I can kinda see some things that others can't. I saw it in your face when you saw Lily that you loved her. And I was the instant Sirius knew that he would love her. Do you know then that was?" James shook his head, even though he knew Peter couldn't see him. "The instant _you_ realized _your_ love. He's always loved her. Probably always will. But remember this, James; I've watched Sirius over the years. He's struggled. Not being with Lily and pretending to hat her hurt him. But seeing you being rejected time and time again, that hurt him even more. I've seen times when he'd pass her in the hallway and he looked like the only thing he wanted in the world right then was to kiss her. Then there are the times I've seen, usually after you'd ask her out, when I really thought that he'd beat her. He's suffered a lot, James, and I don't think you realize that. I mean, the look on his face when you ran off today..." he let his voice trail off. He sighed and stood up with a groan. "But, I dunno, James. Do what you want, I'm going to bed." With that, he stumbled back up the stairs and out of sight.

"So, how'd it go with James and Sirius last night?" Remus had called in sick the next day and Peter was bringing him lunch.

"James hit Sirius. Think his nose might've been broken before Lily mended it. Had a talk with James about it, but I'm not quite sure if he was there."

"Are they on speaking terms?"

"Nope."

"Are they even _friends_ any more?"

"Do you want me to lie or to tell you the truth?"

"Tell me sweet little lies."

"Yup."

Remus had guessed that Peter would say this, but he wasn't entirely prepared for it. The four of them had been best friends ever since they'd first met on the Hogwarts Express in their first year. And James and Sirius longer than that. And now, because of a girl, there was only him and Peter left. He knew without asking that James wouldn't talk to him for a while. They'd had their spats over the years, but never something like this.

For my loyal reviewers:

HannahCimsGwendolyn: Yes, I have finally found a use for fiendr in a serious (no pun intended) context! Huzzah! Now, about our demented Dr. Seuss-on-drugs thing...(I won't say it for fear that it might offend some, but you know what I mean). Wait a minute, you said _Sirius_ was being a dream squisher? He must be fired! _I _am the resident dream squisher! ME! Ahem...Yes, poor Remus for being caught in the middle, but Peter is no longer stupid, even though I hate him! Thanks for the clarification. But I am _not_ a fiend, or hormonally challenged! **END TRANSMISSION! THIS IS NOT AN ARGUMENT!** Ha! I ended the transmission:p

waterdreamer: thank you very much. Yes, poor James. But he got his revenge in this one! And...gasp! Peter is _smart_! and _insightful_!..._RUUUUUUNNNN!_

PatronSaintOfEverythingWierd: Thank you for loving my story. However, and no offense, but from the way you said that, I have a very strong feeling that I'm going to regret giving you that permission. :ducks blow from frying pan: j/k. Yes, hyperness is soooo fun! Have you ever tried pumpkin fudge? That's what fuels Hannah and me when we are together on long weekends and stuff to write the kind of stuff that we write! But it's not as nasty as it sounds. If you like pumpkin pie, you'll like pumpkin fudge. And if you _don't_ like pumpkin pie, well then...your loss. j/k. Mmmmmm...! Sorry, this isn't exactly what you'd call "soon" in the way of updating, but better than never, right?

A/N: OMG! Did anybody see the fourth Harry Potter movie! That was so awesome! I went to the midnight showing a bit south from where I live and spent the night in a hotel there, so I got to skip first period gym. It was funnier than I expected, for such a dark movie. I was laughing nearly the entire time. I wish they'd kept S.P.E.W. in, but ces la vie, right? _Loved_ the twins in this one! And Neville! I loved Neville! He was so...not really pathetic, but that's the only word that's coming to mind, so I'll use it. He was so pathetic, but it was in a really boyish, loveable, adorable sort of way! See the movie, you'll know what I mean. They did a really good job on Voldemort, but I wish Snape had gotten more lines. I really really hope that they keep the same director for the next three movies, he did an excellent job. So, that's my personal review of the movie. All around excellent, **_MUCH_** better than the third! Go see it...NOW!


	6. Talking

**Disclaimer: Okay, I'm sick, so I'm not gonna bother with ranting. I don't own Harry Potter, all I own is the plot, etc. etc.**

A/N: Sorry it's been so long. I was working on another fic and I've also been so busy, I haven't had any time to get on the computer. Also, to those of you in the U.S., a belated happy Thanksgiving. To those of you not in the U.S., well...a belated happy Last Thursday of November

Peter had left and Remus was alone for a while, giving him time to think. He heard feet pounding up the stairs. The door flew open and James burst in, clutching a stitch in his side.

"Moony!" he wheezed. "Call an exorcist! Grab a crucifix and some holy water! Wormtail's possessed!" Remus sat bolt-upright.

"What!" James staggered over to Remus's bed and fell back on it, still holding his side.

"He's possessed!"

"By what?" James shook his head.

"I dunno."

"Then how do you know that he's possessed?"

"Because...he's all...insightful and smart and stuff." Now that he said it out loud, James thought that he sounded rather stupid and paranoid. Remus fell back on his pillows and sighed exasperatedly.

"Don't _do_ that, Prongs!"

"Sorry. I was just...freaked out, I guess. It's just...last night he said some stuff and...When I asked him just now what I should do, do you know what he said?"

"Haven't the foggiest." James rolled onto his stomach, propped himself up on his elbows, and faced Remus, looking very serious.

"He told me to _talk to her_." Remus badly faked shock and surprise.

"_Talking?_ What a novel idea!" James stuck his tongue out. "So, are you going to?"

"What? Exorcise Peter?"

"No! Talk to Lily!"

"Oh, that. I dunno. Maybe. Should I?"

"You know what?" Remus sat up, very business-like. "I hereby officially announce my neutrality. I will have no affiliation whatsoever with you or Sirius."

"_What?_"

"Listen, James. You and Sirius are both my best mates, so I can't take sides. Until you two settle this, I'm not going to be a part of it."

"But-"

"No buts!"

"Fine." James scowled and stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind him and muttering things that sounded like "coward," and "cop-out."

"Evans!" James ran down the hallway. Sirius turned around.

"What do _you_ want?" he snarled. James ignored him.

"Can I talk to you..._alone_?"

"Anything you have to say to her, you can say in front of me."

"Please, Lily?" Lily nodded her consent and followed James around the corner, leaving Sirius glaring after them.

"What do you want, Potter?" She folded her arms across her chest expectantly.

"Lily, I love you." James himself almost did a double-take. Where had _that_ come from?

"I...I beg your pardon?"

"I...I love you, Lily. I always have. Probably always will. I love you so much, it hurts when I see you with someone else. You...you can't even begin to imagine in your dizziest daydreams how far I would go for you." She stared at him. The voice he was hearing was his own and it was coming from his mouth, but it didn't feel like him talking. Like something had taken over his brain and was working his mouth for him.

"How far?" He looked taken aback.

"W-what?"

"How far would you go for me?" He blinked.

"Lily, please don't. I was serious."

"So was I, Potter. How far?" He sighed pitifully.

"To the ends of the Earth doesn't do it justice. Not by a long shot. And truthfully, right now I'd kiss you, but you're going out with my best mate and knowing him, he's standing right around the corner listening to every word we say, and I think I've already done enough damage in the past fifteen seconds to last another couple millennia."

"Why would Sirius eves drop on us?"

"Because I'm not the only one who loves you. Listen, I'm sorry I've wasted your time. I'll just...go now." He walked away before she could say anything. Lily sighed and turned the corner and bumped into Sirius.

"Sirius!"

"He knows me far too well, you know." He smiled rather ruefully at her. There was something in her eyes that wasn't there before. He didn't know exactly what it was, but he was almost positive that it had to do with James.

"So, how'd it go?" Remus sipped a bit of broth from the soup that James had brought up from dinner.

"Terrible!" James was lying on his back across Remus's ankles. He'd have lain elsewhere on the bed, but Remus was just too tall. "I told her that I loved her." Remus laughed shortly.

"Stupid git."

"Gee, thanks Mooney. That makes me feel so much better. Move your feet, they're bony." Remus crossed his legs and balanced the bowl of soup on his knee.

"I'm not here to make you feel better. I'm merely here to comment and/or heckle."

"Me?"

"Both of you. This is why I avoid the social spotlight all together. A lot less complicated that way."

"You just like getting back at us for all the times we've made fun of you."

"That, too. I'm just one of those firm believers that dating is a spectator sport. It's more fun to watch than to actually _be_ in a relationship."

"What about _Sarah_, then?"

"What about her?"

"You can't tell me you've gotten over her?"

"No."

"Then ask her out, mister 'spectator sport!'"

"I look at dating as a lot like chess." James rolled his eyes.

"Here we go."

"You've got to plan your moves carefully, or you'll never capture the queen." James nearly fell of the bed laughing.

"_Capture the queen?_ You make it sound like a bloody _war_, not a date!"

"That's because it is."

"For _you_, maybe."

"Look, not everybody can be like you or Sirius and get any girl he wants!"

"Moony, this is our _sixth year_. If you don't ask her out soon, you're gonna lose her, 'cause she'll be gone after next year."

"I thought this conversation was about you talking to Lily."

"It started out that way, yeah."

"So, how did you start? Just shouting 'I love you' at her?"

"Um...no." Remus smiled and nearly spilled the soup. It was now his turn to laugh himself to tears.

"You _did!_ I can't believe it! Even _I_ wouldn't be so stupid as to do that! Finally, the day we've all been waiting for!"

"What?"

"The day the Great James Potter acts like a stupid prat in front of a girl!" He sighed wistfully and smiled rather dreamily. "I can die happy, now."

"Wait a minute! 'We'? Who's 'we'?"

"Only just about every other bloke in school, except Sirius, of course. By the way, how _did_ he take it? Was he lurking around the corner and spying on you?"

"Yes."

"Oh, come now, Prongs! No need to sulk! You knew just as well as I that he would."

"I just wish he wouldn't." Remus shrugged.

"All's fair in love and war." He glanced out the window. "The sun's setting. I'd better leave. Thank the Lord this is the last night." He slurped down the rest of his soup and stood up. "Should you see her, good luck."

"Yeah, I'll need it." With these final words, Remus walked out and James flopped onto his own bed and stared at the shadows growing on the ceiling. He closed his eyes, just so he could see Lily's sweet face in the darkness. "Oh, will I ever need it!"

Reviewers! Yay!

HannahCimsGwendolyn: I quite agree with Jaque the Sexy French Candian Bat, Peter is a fat, bald, stupid English type-puh! Well, maybe not bald _yet_, but stupid and the English-type, yes. Don't worry, after this chapter, I think he'll return to being stupid. Yes, yes, yes! Go see GoF, now, so we can spaz about it!

PatronSaintOfEverythingWierd::sighs in relief: yay! I didn't give you permission to hit me over the head with a potted plant, so I'm pretty safe, right? _Right?_ :inches away slowly: Yes, pumpkin fudge _is_ very tastey, especially Deerfield Fair pumpkin fudge. Mmm...spaz fuel. ;)

waterdreamer: Thank you very much. What kind of hat? Ooh! Can it be a fedora! Sorry, rather spaztic at this moment.

tina: Of course I'll finish my story. I can't promise frequent updates, sometimes, but I always definitely finish them.


	7. It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better

**Disclaimer: Don't own, but I asked Santa for the rights to it. That's the one thing I reeeeally want Santa to bring me, even though it would mean a lot of paperwork.**

A/N: I know, I know, it's been forever. Please don't pelt me with rotten veggies! Oh, and this is the season finale, so I've got an extra long chapter! Huzzah!

Sirius flopped on his bed and sighed. He stared up at the dancing shadows cast upon the ceiling by the flickering candle. He had been distracted all day by what James had said to Lily the previous morning.

_I love you..._

Even Sirius himself hadn't told her that. Sure, he'd thought it and said it to himself a million times, but he'd never actually told Lily. James wasn't even going out with her, and _he'd_ said it without a moment's hesitation.

"What should I do?" he asked the ceiling.

"I think you already know that." Sirius started up. He hadn't noticed Remus's silhouette behind the bed curtains.

"If I knew the answer, I wouldn't have asked the question, would I?" he snapped at the silhouette.

"Sometimes we're blinded by our own affection, Padfoot." Sirius snorted.

"What do _you_ know about love? _You've_ never been in it."

"There's Sarah."

"_Sarah?_ You're not in love with Sarah. She's just a crush, an infatuation. The only love _you've _ever had was for your books and parchment. _If_ you were in love, you'd know it. You wouldn't be able to talk or breathe...thoughts and drams of her fill your waking hours and your sleep. When you're not with her, there's this empty feeling, and when you are-" Remus flung the curtains aside and bounded out of bed, looking livid.

"Fine, Shakespeare! _You_ fix it, then! Wallow in your misery and self pity until you figure out what to do, but do it without my help! I give up!" He stormed across the room and wrenched the door open, coming face-to-face with James. "He's _your_ headache, now!" he yelled in James's puzzled looking face. "I'm sick and tired of it! All of it!" He stormed out, slamming the door behind him. Semi-distant yells of "move, Wormtail!" was heard down in the common room. Up in the dorm, there was a thick, muffling silence.

James crossed the room silently. He flopped onto his stomach on his bed and rummaged about for something in the drawer of his nightstand. Sirius sat awkwardly on his own bed and quietly watched. James gave up the nightstand and started to search underneath his bed. Sirius had the strong urge to playfully push James off the bed and onto his head, like he'd done when they were on speaking terms, but resisted.

"What're you looking for?"

"Quill," James muttered. "Someone's stole mine."

"Was that supposed to hint at something?" he growled.

"What would it hint at? I'm just looking for my quill." The question had sounded genuine. Sirius felt embarrassed about interrogating James about an innocent search for a spare quill.

"Never mind." Sirius flopped onto his back and tried to ignore James the best he could. It didn't work. As James went from pulling dirty clothes, bits of food, and prank experiments gone awry out from under his bed and went to pulling the same out of the closet, the silence between them grew maddening.

"Where would I keep a spare quill?" James muttered to himself nonchalantly. "I wouldn't. I never keep spare quills," he answered himself. He paused to ponder this for a moment, shrugged, and went back to his search. It was like this for another good five minutes before Sirius sat up.

"I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?" Sirius hesitated. He took a deep breath, gulped, and swallowed his pride.

"I don't want to fight anymore."

"The way I recall it, we weren't." Sirius's heart jumped at this. Did that mean all was forgiven? "We were ignoring and avoiding each other quite loudly, as I recall."

"Oh." Apparently not, then.

"So, what made you change your mind? Gonna break up with Lily as quickly as you asked her out?" There was protective bitterness and a trace of venom in this last sentence.

"Prongs, this is stupid. We're fighting over a _girl_. We promised each other that was the one thing we'd never fight over."

"Sirius, we were eight. That was back when girls were icky, remember?"

"Still. Listen, I'm sorry."

"About...?"

"About everything. Asking Lily out, yelling at you, ignoring you, everything." James went about rummaging for a quill. "This is the part where you list the things you're sorry about," Sirius informed him condescendingly.

"Well, I'm not?"

"_What_?"

"Well, I'm sorry for hitting you, and to try to get Moony to join my side, but that's about it."

"James, you've been acting like a stupid prat, and you're not sorry about _anything_?"

"Look, I told you I was sorry for hitting you. Otherwise, I haven't done anything."

"You told _my_ girlfriend that you loved her."

"Yeah, but it's not _my_ fault she's your girlfriend, is it? It's yours and Moony's, isn't it?"

"Don't bring Moony into this. Not when he's not here to defend himself."

"Well, he _did_ have a hand in all of this. And, seeing as he's not talking to either of us, we probably won't get him in a room with either of us for more than five seconds, much less defend himself."

"Moony didn't-"

"Don't you _dare_ tell me Moony didn't do anything! You know as well as I do that he did! He's the one that told you to ask her out, isn't he?" James had given up the quill search and was standing facing Sirius, fists clenched.

"I don't need this." Sirius turned to walk out. In one swift movement, James was in front of him.

"No! _You_ started this. You don't get to walk out on it!"

"I'll walk out on it if I want." He tried to push the shorter boy aside, but he wouldn't budge.

"You're the one who wanted to talk, so let's talk! Let's talk about six years trying to get the same girl to go out with me. Let's talk about you knowing this perfectly well, then asking her out yourself. Let's talk about you trying to make everything all sugar-coated. I'm sorry isn't going to make it better this time, Sirius!"

"Then what _will_?" Sirius bellowed back. James paused in his ranting for a moment.

"I dunno, Sirius," he said sadly. "I don't know." They looked at each other for a moment, then James stepped aside. Sirius, without saying a word, left.

James and Sirius passed the rest of term not speaking to each other. Remus in about a week or two had started talking to them again, but never took sides. Wormtail scurried around, unsuccessfully trying to make everybody happy. Lily, for her part, seemed perfectly happy with Sirius and the effect of that single "I love you" never showed.

At the end of term feast, Remus sat between James and Sirius. Lily was at Sirius's left, and Wormtail at James's right. There was an icy silence between the three more intelligent Marauders, but Wormtail chatted happily away with Lily across the three of them.

_Maybe this will knock them to their senses,_ Remus thought desperately. _The end is coming soon, and they'll realize that eventually._ He dug into his dinner, throwing nervous sidelong glances at Sirius and James. _But what if they don't realize it?_ an unbidden voice in the back of his mind whispered. _What if they realize it too late? What then? They won't realize it too late,_ he told the voice firmly. _They may not be the brightest of the bunch, but they're smarter than that. They're too good of friends to lose contact with each other over a girl._ _Are they?_ the voice persisted. _I mean, they haven't been speaking to each other since, what? October? It's June. You do realize that, don't you? They haven't been on speaking terms for eight or nine months. What makes you think they'll start talking again now? If not now, then next term. I'm positive they'll be speaking by next term._ He nodded firmly to himself and crushed the annoying little whispering in his head.

They didn't realize it then. It was only the end of their sixth year. Of course the thought hadn't crossed their minds! So summer came. Remus, as usual, lost contact, preoccupied by other things. The only one he talked to that summer was Wormtail.

The next September, he occupied a compartment with Wormtail. He wasn't sure if James and/or Sirius would come to sit with them or not, but he hoped at least one of them would. Eventually, there was a knock on the door and, without waiting for an answer, it opened.

"Can I sit with you guys?" James asked. Remus looked at him and smiled.

"Do you really think you even need to ask any more?" James looked grateful and hauled his trunk in, muttering something about "extenuating circumstances." They remained a trio for a little over five minutes. Then there was another knock and, again, the door slid open without waiting for an answer.

"Moony, can I sit with-" Sirius's eyes traveled over to James. "Oh. Well then, if you're busy, I'll just leave."

"No, Padfoot," Remus said quickly. "Come in, come in. Anyone's welcome." Sirius looked uncertainly at Remus, then shuffled awkwardly in.

_You two WILL make up, if it kills me!_ he thought loudly at the both of them. He then noticed something. Sirius seemed smaller, width-wise. He realized it's because Lily wasn't there next to him, like she had been most of the previous year.

"Where's Lily?" he blurted out before he could stop himself. James looked daggers at the both of them.

"We broke up about three weeks into summer vacation." James lit up visibly at this, but hid it quickly.

"Why?" he asked in a would-be casual tone. Sirius shrugged.

"Number of reasons. My family, her bloody..." he stalled for a moment, as if trying to find the right words. "Her sister is _not_ human! I swear she isn't! She's one of those whatchamajiggies. The thing muggles think'll take over the world. Robobamathing."

"A robot?" Remus supplied.

"That's it! A robot! She cleans compulsively! She made me take my bloody trainers off before I came in! So, yeah, there's a reason. And...just...couldn't go on like that with a clear conscience, you know?" His voice trailed off as he glanced over at James. There was a long awkward pause only broken occasionally by the sound of Wormtail trying to get a bit of sandwich out from under his thumbnail.

"I'm sorry," James said quietly. Sirius nodded.

"Yeah. Me, too. Friends?" He held out his hand. James shook it.

"Friends."

"Who knows? Maybe 75 1/2 time's the charm?" James laughed, glad to have the old Sirius back. But it wasn't the old Sirius.

During the course of the previous term, Sirius had changed because of Lily. It was a change for the better, but it was still change. He had loved Lily with every fiber of his being, and he still loved her. Remus saw this. Sirius tried to hide it, but he couldn't. James didn't see it because he didn't want to, and Wormtail was just too thick.

_Good man, Sirius. Good man._

-Fin-

Tada! Thank you sooo much to all of my loyal reviewers; PatronSaintOfEverythingWierd, waterdreamer, and HannahCimsGwendolyn. And also to my other reviewers, all y'all have made me sooo warm and fuzzy and loved:) Hannah, don't you _dare_ preach GSR to me, this is _not_ a crossover! If there's anything involving a non-OC named Sara(h), it would be SARIUS! lol. Anyways...keep your eyes peeled for a sequel in the next couple of days. Sirius reflects, regrets, and tells Harry. Not sure what it'll be called yet. Possibly _What May Have Been_ or _What If?_. Any title suggestions, please leave it in a review. Since leaving responses in the document is now outlawed, I'll be using the nifty "reply" button. If I've already responded to your review...deal with it, I'm responding again. ;) In case I don't post again for a while, happy holidays, everyone!

Peace,

-Samdum-


End file.
